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Living a double life

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Living  a double life

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Living as a boy is fake to me cause when i see my self i don't recognize that person still having a girlfriend is difficult cause i try acting like a boy around her the first time cause i really wanted to make a first good expression to her mom now that they know my girlfriend is
not to happy about me changing my body and she wont even speak to me. thinking she would hurt my feeling. She think that she loosing the boy side of me. But to me i see it different if i change she still has me but as a girl but if i don't change my self ill be unhappy and be depressed all the time and my girlfriend might loose all of me cause ill be unhappy and depressed and she thinks she could make up for that for what she thinks i like which really i am a girl and i know i don't want that i Just want to be the real me. The other thing is i showed her the real girl me a whole lot of time like to all the dances i been at i wore dresses not to one i wore pants and I'm going to always be a girl but in order for me to be happy is that i can go trough the sex change and everything. I know this is a tough decision but I do know i want to start hormones soon and i am going to ask to be treated as a female at work. cause i'm tired of people asking questions i want people to know i am a girl and always will be a girl and I hope people understand that i still the same person no matter how my body looks and i am going to do what make me happy and i just hope my girlfriend will be happy for me for what ever i choose
Cause right now i feel like i'm loosing her that she doesn't understand that I need to do this Cause i never truly be happy as a boy

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