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Zombie Apocalypse Makes Headlines

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Zombie Apocalypse Makes Headlines

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What is certain is this seemingly explainable mass hysteria continues to spread throughout the metropolis area of New York with injuries reported to be in the thousands.

Staff at McLeod's Hospital report that they have never seen such a sheer volume of casualties. Badly injured and very frightened people are pouring in by, no exaggeration, the hundreds. The only disclosed information is that most of the injuries are bites, not gunshot, or stab wounds as we were led to believe earlier.

Around 2PM, we spoke with Dr. Armin Van Burren, 49, who has been on call since this morning when the first patients arrived.

"We have seen cases of complete disillusionment, deep throat laceration, and even large sections of flesh torn away as if attacked by a rabid dog or wild animal outside of its natural environment," states Van Burren. "Almost all wounds have shown immediate infection. Many have gone into toxic shock."

When asked of the mortality rate, Van Burren hurriedly excused himself from the interview.

Will Merrick, 22, a bite victim in the waiting area, commented, "I was coming home from work and I saw this woman in the road. She was moaning, so I pulled over to see if she had been hit by a car. I reached out to help her and she bit me in the arm and scratched my face so I took off."

Doctors are still at loss as to the reason behind these attacks and the situation does not seem to be improving. Whatever is going on, it seems to be far from over.

Speculation seems to surround the origin of this phenomenon. Theories include and airborne plague, toxic chemical spill, bio-terrorism, overpopulation, and a space-borne virus. Readers should be advised that there is no official explanation as of yet. Teams from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the Center for Disease Control, and Office of Emergency Preparedness have been dispatched to Albany, New York City, Buffalo, and other smaller, suburban areas. Governors and state representatives are encouraging citizens to remain calm and stay at home for the present.

Return to The Daily Hali.

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